- TOP PLAYERSOffensePABLO S. TORRE | August 20, 2012
- TAMPA BAY buccaneersENEMY lines WHAT A RIVAL COACH SAYSJune 28, 2012
- Faces in the CrowdJune 11, 2001
"Luck-eee! Luck-eee, Mister!"
Somehow, she knew that when it comes to driving, I'm no Pope John Paul II, who, of course, is notoriously long off the tee. In the Handara clubhouse hangs a photograph of the pontiff wearing red-white-and-blue Foot-Joys beneath his white vestments. Two Balinese are posed to the right of the Holy Father. All three stand behind Handara's 18th green. The caption below the photo reads: 1984 Bali Bash. L to R: Low Gross, Low Net and Long Drive Winners. (Golf Clothes Supplied by KB Petroleum Golf Fashion Wear.)
That's right. Apparently, His Holiness not only won a long-drive contest on Bali when he visited the island, he also inked an endorsement deal.
Kadek spent the rest of my round exhausting her English vocabulary. When I told her I was from the U.S., she began calling me Joe. When I blew putts, she screamed, "Aaargh!" When I sliced a three-iron into the flinty bottom of a small canyon and asked for a lava wedge to chip out with, she said, "Drop it."
Drop what? A new ball? My pathetic attempt at an icebreaker? Such language difficulties required that I hire an interpreter. And so, immediately after carding a onetwentysomething, I hired one.
Meet 27-year-old I Made Ade. His long left thumbnail was meant to show that he did no hard manual labor. He was to serve as guide and van driver. I called him Mr. Ade—it rhymes with "body"—and he called me Mr. Stiv. With the characteristic warmth of the (noncaddying) Balinese, Mr. Ade was soon describing to me his village, his wife, his wedding. "I am married one year," he said. "And I have six-month-old child. So I have very quick service, yes?"
We hit it off, Mr. Ade and Mr. Stiv. So why didn't I listen when he told me...
"IN SANGEH, THE MONKEYS ARE STUPID"
"Yes," he said, a nervous smile splitting his face. "I take you to Tabanan."
But I want to go to Sangeh, I repeated. I want to sec Bukit Sari, the sacred Monkey Forest there. I want to see Pura Bukit Sari, the sacred Monkey Temple in the sacred Monkey Forest.