'all Right, Guys, Locomote Pedally Toward The Visible Spectrum....'

"Let's pretend we are, O.K., Al?"

"Ya, ya...uh...mass, uh, energy, uh, c skvared...ya...ya...tree timetz te shpeed of light."

"Uh, that sounds a little high. Did you account for a shift in momentum?"

"Uh, vat momentum? You mean angular or linear? Spinnink or ah vector?"

"I mean big mo. You know, the 12th man."

"Oh, you vere tockink about vut vee phyzizists call te 'Brent-I-can-feel-it-shvinging' momentum. Let's zee...uh...."

The National Football League is hoping to experiment next season with putting miniature microphones and receivers into the helmets of quarterbacks and receivers—gridiron Walkmen. And thanks to engineers (to me the same as physicists), the Olympic cycling team uses bicycles that barely resemble Webster's definition of the word, "a vehicle with two wheels tandem, a steering handle, a saddle seat and pedals by which it is propelled."

This mixture of physics and sports may be not only wasteful but volatile as well. What will happen when Tom Landry doffs his hat to his new offensive coordinator, Edward Teller, and on the next big play lets him call the bomb? Tom, just run Dorsett off tackle.