SID: Coach, in the feature portion of our show we usually talk about the educational opportunities awaiting the student-athlete at BU. This week's feature is on BU's new research lab for the study of Indo-European languages.
COACH: Sid, all of our football players are encouraged to use the Indo-European language lab. All we ask of them during the 18 hours a day they spend with us is great effort, great consistency and great mental toughness.
SID: Coach, we know our viewers are almost beside themselves waiting for that big season-opener next week. We'll probably see some hard hitting in that one!
COACH: Well, this is a big-hitting, big-play conference, Sid. On any given Saturday, anything can happen. Unfortunately, we're a little banged up from spring practice, so it'll be a moral victory if we hold 'em to seven touchdowns.
SID: All right, fans, that's it from The Barry Banal Show! Looks like it's going to be a great season. Until next week, just remember to "Sic 'em, Shepherds!"