?USC basketball player Cheryl Miller, on why she didn't worry about drug tests at the Pan Am Games: "I don't use steroids. I don't want to wake up some morning with a beard."
?Rangers Outfielder Mickey Rivers, after hearing Paul Mirabella, a former teammate, extol the virtues of being traded to the Orioles' organization: "I've got to get me one of them transactions."
?Rangers Pitcher John Butcher, after a one-hitter: "I threw about 90 percent fastballs and sliders, 50 percent fastballs, 50 percent sliders...wait, I'm starting to sound like Mickey Rivers."
? Kansas State Quarterback Doug Bogue, on why he changed his major from veterinary medicine to petroleum geology: "I didn't want any telephone calls at 4 a.m. from people saying, 'Fifi is throwing up.' "