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MUSHROOMS, SADDLEDOMES, ETC.
Some things the sports world can surely do without:
?The mushroom-cloud logo on the helmets worn by members of the Richland (Wash.) High School football team, whose nickname is the Bombers in recognition of the importance of the nuclear armaments industry to the town's economy. Principal Gus Nash insists that the logo has "nothing to do with nuclear weapons," but it's hard to imagine what else the mushroom clouds could possibly have to do with. You would think the school could at least change the logo to show an unexploded bomb.
?The decision to name the new home of the NHL's Calgary Flames, a 16,700-seat facility with a saddle-shaped roof, the Olympic Saddledome. Because that moniker is such a mouthful, most Calgary residents refer to the building simply as the Saddledome. But there's a problem with that, too. As kibitzers in Calgary have noted, it's a physical impossibility for a roof to be shaped like both a saddle and a dome. The vote here is for a grabber of a name like the Calgary Coliseum.
?The continued on-court tantrums of John McEnroe, whose verbal assault on the net-cord judge during last month's Australian Indoor Tennis Championships put him over the $7,500 limit in yearly fines, therefore earning him an automatic 21-day suspension. "I don't think I deserve to be fined for what I said," McEnroe groused. "If I'd known I was going to be fined for that, I'd really have let him have it." What McEnroe charmingly said to the official was this: "How many more imaginary lets do you intend to call, you fat turd?"
?A "subliminal program" that computer owners can use to flash messages across their TV screens—so briefly that the eyes can't see the words—while they're watching regular TV fare. The messages supposedly work on the "subconscious mind" so as to increase one's "athletic confidence" on the golf course. Developed by Stimutech, Inc. of East Lansing, Mich., the subliminal messages are flashed on the screen by means of something called the Expando-Vision system, which can also be programmed, it is claimed, to help users quit smoking, control stress, develop better study habits and enhance their sex lives. The promise of being able to improve at sports while sitting in front of the tube is just what our already overly sedentary society needs, right?
Those NFL trading cards that police are handing out to youngsters in a number of cities (SCORECARD, Sept. 5) continue to be snapped up as fast as they come off the presses. Each card bears a photo of a local NFL star on one side and crime prevention or safety tip on the other, and the cops see the cards as a way of building good will with kids and helping them stay out of trouble. However, in the Washington, D.C. area, where a series of 16 Redskin cards, one for each week of the season, is being distributed, one card had to be revised. It was originally to bear a picture of Safety Tony Peters, but was dropped from the trading-card lineup because Peters pleaded guilty last month to federal drug trafficking charges and is currently under NFL suspension; last month a sobbing Peters was sentenced in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, Va. to four years probation, a $10,000 fine and 500 hours of community service.
The trading cards that police distributed instead featured Linebacker Monte Coleman.
NO RUNAWAY, JUST RUNDOWN