?Clay Bittner, Memphis State defensive back, on whether he attributed a key pass interception he made in a 28-25 win over Tulane to an ability to read offenses: "I wasn't trying to read anything. I'm just a freshman."
? John Brodie, TV football commentator and ex-49er quarterback, recalling his fling on the PGA tour two decades ago: "I was the leading money spender."
? Paul Owens, the Phillies' malaprophappy manager, to a cab driver with a loud radio: "Hey, cabbie, could you turn that thing down a hundred disciples?"
? Jack Kelly Jr., U.S. Olympic Committee vice-president, on present-day-amateurism: "Let's be honest. A proper definition of an amateur today is one who accepts cash, not checks."