For The Champion In The Rotisserie League, Joy Is A Yoo-hoo Shampoo

Salembier's personal favorite is catcher Luis Pujols, who she claims is the perfect choice for team captain. "He can't hit, run or throw, so he makes all the other boys on my team look great by comparison," she says. "When he went down to the minors last year, he told me he wanted to make all the other guys think they were All-Stars. I gave him a kiss."

The reason the Rotisserie League limits itself to just the NL is that our teams more accurately reflect the major leagues. We know of other statistical circuits that draft players from both leagues—bad, wrong, no, no, no. Luis Pujols belongs in this great game of ours.

" Chili Davis, thirty-eight dollars."

That non compos mentis bid came through the lips of Michael Pollet, lawyer and managing general partner of the Pollet Burros. Pollet has argued cases before the Supreme Court, but he has never gotten his asses above fifth. Such was the depth of his depression that he released each and every one of the Burros before the draft last year. He still finished eighth.

His exorbitant bid for Davis didn't seem so dumb at the time. Pollet just got sophomore-slumped. Every once in a while a player's cost will exceed all reason. We told you Householder once went for $32. He was subject to what we call the Littlefield Effect. Coming into the 1981 draft, San Diego relief pitcher John Littlefield had two saves in the Padres' first two victories, and he became the subject of much spirited bidding. He finally went to the Eisenberg Furriers for $15. Six months later Littlefield still had two saves.

" Lee Mazzilli, twenty dollars."

That was Fleder. The Mets, Rangers, Yankees and Pirates have all made that mistake. Fleder is a long-distance member of the league, operating, we like to think, out of the Playboy Mansion in Chicago. He's an editor at Playboy, and as such is responsible for the great articles that everybody buys that magazine for. Fleder's turn-ons are players named Dale (he has Berra and once had Murphy). Turn-offs are people who remotely resemble Dave Kingman.

We let Fleder move to Chicago because he was so hard to deal with. A fine fellow, make no mistake, but his trade conversation tends to sound like "You give me Steve Carlton, Lee Smith, Andre Dawson and Tim Raines, and I'll give you Warren Spahn, Don McMahon, Willie Mays and Lou Brock.... Oh, did they all retire?" Still, we need somebody to finish fourth every year.

Not infrequently, a league owner must endure the torture of watching two of his players face each other on television, and Fleder went through a particularly difficult such moment last year. "I saw Scott Sanderson, whom I own, throw one at the truly long neck of Claudell Washington, whom I also own. Claudell went out after Scott, and I had to watch in utter dismay as my Mice fought among themselves."

" Bryn Smith, one dollar."