Judgment Call

I keep hearing that baseball will expand in the next few years. I say to myself, "Are these bozos for real, or what? There's not enough talent to go around for 26 teams!" Then I remember the greed factor and the initiation dues charged to new franchises, and I get very nervous. It makes me wish I was dictator. I would not expand. I would contract.

My modest proposal goes like this: The American League can do very well with 12 teams. Since the league expanded to 14 in 1977, the schedule has been a mess, and 50 players who belong in Class AAA have been masquerading as major-leaguers.

My first act as dictator would be to decree the Mariners out of existence. Sorry, Seattle, I know ownership has been incompetent since Day One, but you still don't care about your team. Also, baseball would be rid of the Kingdome, and the fewer domes, the better. The other candidate for extinction? The Indians, of course. Think of the pain Cleveland fans, the ones who show up, have endured the last 25 years. Think of the pain the players—they have to show up—go through. Let's put the poor wretches—fans and players—out of their misery. Yes, let's disband the Mariners as an object lesson to incompetent owners and dome-builders, and let's disband the Indians as an act of mercy.