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SCORECARD
Edited by Jerry Kirshenbaum
September 24, 1984
TRIUMPH OF THE DOLLAR SQUEEZERS
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September 24, 1984

Scorecard

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In the off-season West will be appearing on the same bill in Las Vegas with country star Mel Tillis, and he has already made an appearance on the syndicated TV show Nashville Now. "The response has been great so far," says West. "I don't ever think I'll give up umpiring for singing, or vice versa. In a way, the singing may have helped my umpiring. It's kept me from being a 24-hour-a-day umpire."

In dealing with crises during games, like a manager throwing a tantrum or a beanball skirmish, West might one day be tempted to defuse the situation by breaking into another of his songs, You Can't Run With the Big Dogs (If You Act Like a Puppy). It's his personal favorite:

You can't run with the big dogs if you act like a puppy,
You can't swim with the big fish if you splash like a guppy,
You can't run with the stallions if you trot like a colt,
And you can't tighten that lug nut if you don't have the bolt.

—STEVE WULF

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