- TOP PLAYERSOffensePABLO S. TORRE | August 20, 2012
- TAMPA BAY buccaneersENEMY lines WHAT A RIVAL COACH SAYSJune 28, 2012
- Faces in the CrowdJune 11, 2001
"Did you hear the report about Eddie DeBartolo's giving a champagne brunch at Brennan's for Manuel Noriega?"
"No, but the second cousin of an announcer I know said he saw John Elway dancing with a family of gypsy mimes in a bucket of squirming crawfish, squealing something about 'the real Doctor John.' "
"That figures. But what about the L.A. television station's videotape of a Charlotte writer interviewing a Jersey radio guy listening to a Phoenix consumer reporter repeating the claim of a Cleveland agent that he saw three white league commissioners roaring drunk at Tipitina's and trying to pick up Roseanne Barr?"
"I say we go with it immediately."
It wasn't quite that subdued on the media watch in New Orleans last week when that annual Hype-o-Drone of American life came thundering into view. Sure enough, Super Bowl XXIV did not disappoint as the nation waited to see what the cream of our sports communicators could curdle themselves into when given an entire week cooped up with nobody but each other.
Let's face it. This year, as always, the prelude to the quote contest unquote was infinitely more interesting than the quote contest unquote itself. And you can thank your own trusty neighborhood reporters for prying into the nether reaches of Super Bowl week with penetrating questions designed to elicit truth, fact and sometimes even an answer.
"To be honest with you, I haven't had a stupid question [asked] all week," Denver rookie Bobby Humphrey said incredulously one morning inside an enormous tent erected for the precise purpose of stupid question-asking.
"Why do you take your earring off for the game?" someone broke in, rudely ending the streak.
That thoughtful interrogation, however, was no match for the queries of Supes past: "If you were a tree, what tree would you be?" (asked of the Broncos' John Elway at Super Bowl XXII), or "How long have you been a black quarterback?" (asked of the Redskins' Doug Williams, also at XXII, a vintage year for Supe stupidity), or "Lemme get this straight, Jim. Is it blind mother, deaf father or the other way around?" (asked of the Raiders' Jim Plunkett at Super Bowl XV).