? Bill Lee, Montreal Expo southpaw, expounding on the subject of the brain's hemispheres: "You have a left and a right. The left side controls the right half of your body, and the right side controls the left half. Therefore, lefthanders are the only people in their right mind."
?Lynn Dixon, reporter at Columbus radio station WBNS, on Cleveland as a possible site for the alternative Olympics: "They wouldn't need a torch. They could just light Lake Erie."
?Sue Stadler, wife of beefy golf pro Craig Stadler: "I think it's funny that almost all the sportswriters who are always asking why Craig doesn't lose weight are heavier than he is."