What's the title of the new movie?
I won't tell you. If I told you, it would appear as a mini-drama on TV next week. I call it my "woman in jeopardy" movie. If you come up with a better title, call me. And, yes, it was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's North by Northwest; Jenner plays the Cary Grant role, if you can call it that.
A detective, Jenner told us. I got it. Why not have Jenner wear a sort of pencil-line mustache, like William Powell in The Thin Man?
No. No pencil-line mustache. But maybe (he giggles), maybe just a little haircut. FADE OUT.
FADE IN: A low-level shot of surf rolling in, three-and four-foot waves in close order. Gradually we become aware of an approaching high-pitched engine; it snarls, growing louder. Suddenly, a Kawasaki Jet Ski leaps into the picture, flying off the crest of a wave. It soars crookedly for 12 feet into the air, producing a halo of spray that shines like diamonds. Its driver, wearing a cut-off wetsuit and Bruce Jenner signature-model running shoes, accepts the fact that he is headed for a crash and pushes the Jet Ski away so that it won't land on him. Man and machine do half-barrel rolls and splash upside-down into the surf. In a moment, Jenner's head emerges from the top of another wave. He shakes the hair out of his eyes with a snap of his head and pulls the shut-off Jet Ski over. He crosses his arms on it and uses it as a float, resting his chin on his forearms.
As I was saying, I run my own life these days. Funny, but I've found that my perspective has changed. Now, four years after the gold medal, I don't want to be seen quite as much. I don't know, perhaps I shouldn't be seen as much. I'd like to suddenly appear from time to time in something nice—like the football movie we're working on. And then the folks would say, 'Hey, there's old Bruce. I haven't seen him in a while. It's good to see him.' That's one of the reasons I'm backing off a bit, becoming more selective about what jobs I do. I'm financially more secure, don't have to worry about the bills being paid next week. If there was a time when it seemed that I was too visible, you've got to remember that it wasn't so much me capitalizing on the Games—but that I needed a job. People offered me work at a nice salary. It was more like other people trying to capitalize on what I had done. They called me, I didn't call them. And that first year I did basically what everybody asked me to do...
I see that the much-decorated Eric Heiden zinged you pretty good after the Lake Placid Games.
Hey, I don't put Heiden down at all. The only thing I didn't like was some of the comments he made. (He changes his voice and mimics what he thinks Heiden sounds like.) 'I don't want to capitalize off the Games like Bruce Jenner did.' (Jenner makes a time-out signal with his hands.) Hold it! Time! Capitalize on the Games? Waaait a second. I would like to see what would happen if somebody came up to him and offered him a million dollars for two years of work. The guy would be craaaazy not to look seriously at it. But say also that it's something good, a good product that not only pays him money but starts a youth speed-skating camp where underprivileged kids can go and learn. Lots of good things can come out of this, not just Heiden getting a few dollars in his pocket. He can't just say, 'He's wrong in doing that.' There's nothing that says you have to do anything after an Olympics; it depends on the individual. What the individual would like and where he's at...
(Dryly.) Or what space he's in...