? Rich Kelley, Phoenix Suns center, complaining that opponents had lately been employing unusually rough tactics against him: "Either I'm playing with my face more or they're playing with their elbows more."
? Doc Medich, Texas Ranger pitcher, on the time-consuming ritual of twitches and stance adjustments that the Indians' Mike Hargrove goes through each time he steps into the batter's box: "He's a one-man four-corner offense."
? Frank Layden, coach of the hapless Utah Jazz, to a fan who had just called a referee a fool during a meaningless late-season game with the almost-as-hapless Kansas City Kings: "Who are you calling a fool? You paid to watch this."
? George Plimpton, author and SI special contributor, advancing a pet theory that there's an inverse correlation between the size of a ball and the quality of writing about the sport in which the ball is used: "There are superb books about golf, very good books about baseball, not many good books about football and very few good books about basketball. There are no books about beachballs."