Stretch

"How tall are you ?"
"Seven-foot-five."
"Do you play basketball?"
"Some people say I do and some people say I don't."

And so it goes for Chuck Nevitt, oh, about 25 times a day. He answers every question about his height with uncommon civility, and he readily jokes about his playing abilities. He seems to like the view from up there, and he also seems grateful for his view from down there at the end of the Houston Rocket bench, even though he would like to work up a sweat during a game every so often.

Fans may giggle at first sight of his pipe-cleaner physique, but if they watch Nevitt during a game, watch him cheer his teammates on, watch him high-and low-five the ball boys, watch him listen intently to the coach during timeouts, watch him join the crowd in the Wave, they know that Chuck Nevitt is more than just the longest standing joke in the NBA. He is a genuine folk hero.

"I played with the 76ers," says Tim McCormick, the center who stands between Akeem Olajuwon and Nevitt on the Rockets" depth chart, "and Dr. J didn't get as much attention walking through airports as Chuck does." Indeed, when the visiting Rockets were introduced before a recent game against the Lakers in the Forum. Olajuwon was only first runner-up to Nevitt on the applause meter. Once upon a time. Nevitt didn't play for the Lakers, and he has a championship ring to prove it.

When the Lakers were in Houston on Jan. 31, the omnipresent Morganna ran onto the floor before the opening tip-off to give Kareem Abdul-Jabbar one of her famous kisses. Then, as she ran off the court, she stopped at the end of the Rocket bench to give Nevitt a buss. The fans went crazy, and no wonder. There, face-to-face—well, sort of—were two of anatomy's greatest wonders, one of them horizontal, the other vertical. Said Nevitt of the experience. "We laughed, we loved, and now she's a part of me."

That night Nevitt went out and scored a season-high eight points (4 for 6 from the field) in only six minutes; the other bussee, Kareem, had six points in 18 minutes. "Gee," Nevitt said. "If I played the whole game, I would have had at least 60." Nevitt's wife, Sondra, was not jealous of Morganna in the least. "We're actually thinking of hiring her to kiss Chuck on a regular basis," she said.

Nevitt has more nicknames than most regulars: the Human Victory Cigar, for his occasional appearances at the end of winning games, and Chuck E. Cheese, for the mascot robot of a Texas-based pizza franchise. In Detroit, where he didn't play for the Pistons, a different pizza place used to give 12 pizzas to a soup kitchen for every shot Nevitt blocked. People around Houston honk at his van, which has North Carolina license plates reading 7 FT 5 (Sondra drives a car with 5 FT 10 plates). He has inspired not one, but two Trivial Pursuit questions: "How many inches above seven feet is Chuck Nevitt?" and "Who is the tallest player in the NBA?" The answer to the latter question is now 7'7" Manute Bol of the Golden State Warriors, but the answer on the outdated card (Sports, professional basketball category) is still Chuck Nevitt.

He may no longer be the tallest man in the league, but Nevitt is certainly the tallest juggler, clothing salesman, carpenter, stripper, Nat King Cole fan, aspiring actor, bicyclist and jokester. Ah, the jokes. He's got a million of them. "I call him Mr. Improv," says Rocket rookie Derrick Chievous. Of course, you would need a sense of humor if you were 7'5" and trying to get in and out of airplane lavatories all the time.

Utah Jazz forward Thurl Bailey, who used to listen to Nevitt's jokes when they played together at North Carolina State, says, "Chuck says that he gets waived from a team when he runs out of jokes. Well, he's such a great guy that I hope he has enough jokes—and there are enough teams—so that he lasts 16 years in the league."

Nevitt is now in his sixth NBA season, and he's on his third tour of duty with the Rockets, who originally selected him in the third round of the 1982 draft. He has been waived by the Rockets, Milwaukee Bucks, the Rockets again, the Lakers twice, a team in Forli, Italy, and the San Antonio Spurs. The Pistons didn't pick up the option on his contract after last season. He has also flunked tryouts with the New York Knicks and the Atlanta Hawks. Before this season he averaged 21 games a year, and 5.6 minutes and 1.7 points a game. In other words, in five seasons he scored as many points (177) as Michael Jordan scores in five games.