The Ncaas From A To Z

T. Texas. The Lady Longhorns are still better.

U. UCLA, UNLV. Relocate them to the Beast Coast, and they're Niagara and Canisius.

V. Vanderbilt. What can you expect from a team whose coach, C.M. Newton, will turn into the Kentucky athletic director on April Fools' Day?

W. West Virginia. Did not play a team in the Top 20. Lost to Penn State by 16 points. From Major Harris to major fraud.

X. Xavier. Must play Michigan in opener to get to Alabama to get to North Carolina. Hey, coach Pete Gillen, wouldn't you rather watch the Reds' spring training, anyway?

Y. Yo! McNeese State, Ball State, Colorado State, Iowa State, Memphis State. Great to see you fellas in such great states. But, yo! Impossible!

Z. Zavier. See X.

Down the stretch Georgetown, Arizona and Illinois have taken on the look of champions. They'll be joined in the battle for Seattle by a dark horse out of the Southeast, Florida State. I picked the Hoyas to win the championship before Alonzo Mourning and Dikembe Mutombo blocked the first of their 222 shots. When Georgetown coach John Thompson came clean with the stunning revelation that Mourning gobbles too many Gummi Bears, that cinched it. I know Gummi Bears. My family has known Gummi Bears. Mourning is no Gummi Bear. But he and Mutombo, both first-year players, may be gumming up the works in this tournament for years to come.