? Tom Penders, Rhode Island basketball coach, when asked if he would like to coach the hapless L.A. Clippers: "It might be easier to straighten out the Middle East."
? Johnny Carson, on extending his NBC contract: "The only other job I was offered was head football coach at SMU."
? Hot Rod Hundley, the former Laker turned broadcaster, on the Rockets' Ralph Sampson: "He's the most overrated player since me."