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"The largest lamp store in the world! Right there! I inquired about the best place to buy a lamp and I was told that this place is the largest in the whole wide world! Right there!"
"We only want a two-way bed lamp," said Mrs. Rickey.
"I know," said Rickey. "But there's the place to get it. You could go all over the world and not find a bigger lamp store. Right turn here, Guido!"
"One way, Mr. Rickey," said Guido, cheerfully.
That was the signal for a whole comedy of errors, with Rickey directing and traffic cops vetoing a series of attempts to penetrate one-way streets and to execute left turns. Rickey grew more excited, Mrs. Rickey more calm, Guido more desperate as the Duquesne Club loomed and faded as a seemingly unattainable goal.
"Judas Priest!" Rickey finally exclaimed. "It's a perfectly simple problem! We want to go to the Duquesne Club!"
"I know how!" Guido protested, "I know the way!"
"Then turn, man, turn!"
"Get out of here!" yelled a traffic cop.
"For crying out loud!" roared Rickey. "Let's get out and walk."