?Anticipating Mr. Bledsoe's rescue of the good name of the younger set, Mr. Keim is Happy Knoll guest No. 364.—ED.
A PROTEST FROM HARD HOLLOW
As self-elected Chairman of the Membership Committee of the Hard Hollow Country Club, it is my duty to register a protest against the deplorable recruiting campaign which the Happy Knoll people are waging through your magazine.
From the beginning we at Hard Hollow have been embarrassed by this whole nasty business and we hoped it would die of itself if we simply ignored it. But now, with the Aug. 8 tally showing 68 new members for Happy Knoll (and Happy Knoll, let me assure you, is welcome to them), we feel it is time to set the record straight.
We at the Hollow have been aware of the Knoll's financial stress for some time now (in fact, it's a standing joke around here), but we never suspected it had reached such desperate extremes as to drive them to solicit members through the pages of a national magazine. Considering the caliber of membership such a campaign must yield, it is small wonder indeed that gatherings on the order of Miss Bledsoe's party occur with appalling regularity at Happy Knoll. (Her father, you know, couldn't make it here at Hard Hollow. Nothing against him, of course, but there you are.)
As for Mr. Lawton's gross misrepresentations about the Hollow, I shall not dignify them with replies except to point out that the "unprofitable" hours he admits to having spent with several of our members probably had reference to the times he has unsuccessfully tried to solicit the advertising accounts of two of our members. His allegation that the Happy Knoll membership roster shows more bankers than Hard Hollow's is likewise unworthy of reply; I merely mention that three of their "bankers" are no more than suburban branch managers, and that two who hold midtown positions are only vice presidents.
We were shocked, as no doubt you were, at Mr. Lawton's reference to Cadillac counting. It shows just the sort of ostentatious (I shan't use the word "vulgar") display of recently acquired means they go in for over there. In this connection, Mr. Lawton's letter conspicuously failed to mention that our parking lot at Hard Hollow not only is graced with two Jaguars, a Mercedes and a Rolls-Royce—but that we even have a member who is actually thinking of buying a Bentley!
I trust that this letter will dispose forevermore of the Knoll's shoddy recruiting campaign, and that write-in applications for membership in the Knoll will be handled according to established procedure in the future. And if you should receive any applications for membership in Hard Hollow, be so kind as to refer the names to me AIR MAIL SPECIAL DELIVERY.
RODNEY D. MOFFETT
?For a hopeful candidate, see next letter.—ED.
WE AIN'T LIKE THEM
Any fool can see by the letters youse has been getting from them people thats trying to get in at happi knoll is illetrate and so me and the missus and kids wood like to get a family membership at Hard Hollow; both of us and even our kids aint like them people that cuts up good rugs and pushes people in swimming pools and all that their kind of stuff if you get what I meen. so let us start the new trend to that reeal nice Hard Hollow and tri and Be a little bit more careful about the folks who you let in. don't worry about me. i Can supply references if you need them.
?References should be sended to Mr. Moffett.—ED.