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Moreover, OMBAC's entry in a frog-jumping contest, the heroic OMFROG (club member Bill Cheng in disguise), was disqualified not because of 5'5" Cheng's Chinese ancestry, but because he was ruled "a tree toad."
OMBAC's spirit is never more apparent than at the Over the Line tournament, where, towering above the shouting and liquor and dust, its members operate the scoreboard and carry on a running commentary over the PA system that defies the laws of logic, not to mention Supreme Court rulings on obscenity.
OMBAC has always looked askance at attempts to commercialize its product. At this season's event, a Tin Man and a clown had the audacity to mill through the crowd promoting themselves. "Get the Tin Man out of here," Curren screamed. "Next thing you know we'll have Dorothy and Toto littering the place."
Jocko the Clown was more discreet. However, he seemed offended that everyone kept referring to him as Bozo. "These people only know one clown name. It's another distressing example of our automated society," he said.
As part of the Herculean task of running the tournament, certain OMBAC members are required to perform annual duties. Rick Spicer is expected to walk around with a cardboard-and-tin-can television camera on his head doing live remotes for "internationally renowned O.K.-TV." And OMBAC Vice-President Grant Simkins always runs the concession stand, Grant's Grill and Piano Bar, where he "auditions crooners and mooners" from behind his toy piano. Simkins is also a judge of the annual Miss Emerson contest.
Miss Emerson was discovered three years ago when Simkins asked a passing lady of astounding proportions if she was the elusive Emerson, then told her an old knock-knock joke. When she answered, Emerson Who? Simkins provided the punch line. Ever since, OMBAC members have held up placards numbered from one to 10 when unusually voluptuous girls pass the scoreboard. The leading point scorer becomes Miss Emerson.
This year's winner, Marcia Weir, claimed to be ignorant of the competition. She said of her award-winning moment, "All of a sudden I found myself surrounded by people gasping, screaming and pointing at my shirt." Weir was asked if she earned all 10s from the judges. "Heck, no," she said. "I got one 11."
Miss Emerson was not an Over the Line player, but the women participants have been the objects of grumbling from male competitors, who claim the distaff side gets all the attention.
The cameramen's favorite women's team this season wore chocolate-brown string bikinis. Formerly topless mermaids at the Reef Lounge, the three girls expressed displeasure that the Reef had "gone Country and Western." But Susie Ellis admitted she had found gainful employment elsewhere, "feeding the hummingbirds at the zoo."
The women notwithstanding, the chief drawing card at Over the Line was, as usual, the team names, which, linked end to end, would have given Lenny Bruce a decade of material. Some of the less raunchy included: Healing Scab and the Sophomore Favorites; Flying Pimento Brothers; The Sky Is Falling; Damn Rabbit Died; Deaf Jubilants; Winkin, Blinkin and Nude; the Oral Roberts Waist-High Revival; Compared To What?; and, in the girls' division, McCovey's Mistresses, sponsored by Padre First Baseman Willie.