Whaddaya Say, Jose?

But how can anybody get to know the real Jose Canseco if Jose Canseco won't talk?

"You can't know me in four days." (Game pants.) "You can't know me in four weeks." (Wristbands.)

A number of factors—Canseco's brushes with the law, the charge by baseball writer Thomas Boswell that Canseco used steroids, and a couple of media hatchet jobs—have combined to stifle what could be the most witty and fresh interview in baseball. Canseco goes into every interview now like there's an 0-2 count and everybody's throwing spitters.

"People already have an opinion of me," he says. "Whatever you say now isn't going to change that. Some people think I'm a nice guy. Some think I'm a terrible person. People who know me know who I am. I don't even want people to know me.... Why should I care what you think or write about me?"

And you almost believe him until you see him the next day.

"So," he says, "are you going to write a positive article or what?"

Jose Canseco Fun Facts: Trade 'em, swap 'em, collect 'em....

He loves dance tracks with a lot of bass. The bigger the bass, the more he likes it. When he pulls up to the Oakland ballpark in his white Porsche with the tape player booming, crystal tinkles in San Jose.

He loves Italian food and Cuban food, both of which Esther makes well enough to bring grown men to tears. His favorite is stuffed manicotti.

He doesn't drink or smoke, and he swears he has never touched drugs.