A-one-and-a-two...

This game is monstrous. This game is huge. This game calls for a surefire, extra-cool, computer-generated system of analysis that will guarantee you not only the winner but also the exact score.

Unfortunately, that system was way too expensive.

So we're going with our own Addemup System, which happens to be cheap—not to mention easy enough for goobers like us to operate. The score of the Increda Bowl, the Ultimate College Football Game, the De Facto National Championship Final to be played this Saturday at historic Notre Dame Stadium, will be Florida State 25, Notre Dame 19.

Pencils ready?

DESIRE

Zow. Both teams are 9-0. Both teams are on 16-game winning streaks. Both teams are coached by lovable homespun legends. Florida State is ranked No. 1, Notre Dame No. 2. The winner will beat the gizzards out of Nebraska or go to the wall against Miami in some bowl on Jan. 1 and haul home the national championship.

But Notre Dame has already won eight national titles. The Seminoles have won zero, even though they've been on the case like a coat of Benjamin Moore. They've finished 2-3-3-4-4-2 the last six years, but never No. 1.

Notre Dame wants it. The Seminoles need it. Florida State, two points.

FOOTBALL BANQUETS
Regis Philbin is hosting Notre Dame's. A booster named Charlie Barnes is hosting Florida State's. No way Charlie Barnes brings Kathie Lee Gifford to Tallahassee to hand out the plaques. Notre Dame, one point.

HORSES