- THEY SAID ITEdited by Robert W. Creamer | December 20, 1982
- 2011 REGULAR SEASON scheduleWEEK 1August 04, 2011
- If You Do Not Want the Swimsuit IssueJanuary 23, 2012
"Just crank 'em a good one," I say. "Let's get it over with, fast."
He is the last American hero. That is the job he has chosen to accept. He is the avenging angel, the cartoon savior of the city, the last athlete in the world to actually walk and talk among the masses. The other big-time, big-money athletes have elected to retreat from normal life, to move to the insulated show-biz world of limousines and bodyguards and exclusive country clubs. Charles is still out there with the people, no matter what. I am with him. I am his aide, his confidant, his comical sidekick.
Every night there is the potential for confrontation. Some bigmouth with dreams of fame and/or fortune will make himself known. He has the phone number of the local newspaper in one pocket, the number of a good lawyer in the other. For a moment, in front of a girlfriend or a gathering of his boyhood friends, he can dance with notoriety. Bait the tiger. Rattle the old cage. Maybe the guy figures he can wind up on Oprah, telling his harrowing talc. Maybe he is thinking of Court TV. Hard to say. The beauty is that Charles is ready to oblige.
"You think you're a big man, huh?" the idiot will say.
"Bigger than you," Charles will reply.
"Whack him, Charles," I say.
His recent quote—"Just because I'm famous doesn't mean I have to take any crap"—is lovely. He was accused twice within nine days last month of striking different customers at Stixx, a disco pool hall in Scottsdale, Ariz. The names of the two men, the two customers, were suddenly in the news all across the country, appearing under headlines that said something like BARKLEY ACCUSED IN INCIDENT. The fact that a manager of the bar said both of the men deserved a good punch did not make most of the stories. The fact that neither man pressed charges was noted later under smaller headlines, if it was noted at all.
"Charles is the best," the Stixx manager, Katrina Santa Maria, said. "When he first started coming here, I didn't know what to expect. I'd read all these stories.... I was wondering if he was some kind of wild man. Then he came here and was the best. He never asked for any special privileges. He never brought a bodyguard or asked for one of our doormen to stand near him. He just likes people. He has signed more autographs than anyone who ever came here. Both of the guys who bothered him were way out of line. The first guy was complaining that he chipped a tooth. There was nothing. It was ridiculous."
The trend in all of society is to let the idiots take control. Who needs the trouble? Walk away. The idiots control the downtowns of the nation after dark. The idiots control the subways, the schools, the movie theaters. Who will even complain when a group keeps talking during the showing of the latest Lethal Weapon thriller? Walk away. Swallow. It all is so much easier that way. Rent a movie instead of leaving home to watch one.
Charles does not swallow. He does not stay home. The idiots have forced Michael Jordan from the scene, sending him first to his elegant prisons in hotel suites across the country, then into retirement, but Charles is still out there. He meets with people. He asks them their names and listens to their politely told stories. He tries to live a normal life in his abnormal situation. He says he isn't a role model, but who is a better one? There are times when the grind seems to get to him (just last week the Arizona Republic had a story in which he said he might retire at the end of this season), but he keeps going.