Waiting Game

DAVID ORTIZ is upset. Major League Baseball will start enforcing rules meant to speed up the game. He says that when he steps out of the box, it's because he's thinking about what to do with the next pitch: "Do you know what it takes to figure out how to hit a baseball?" I understand, and I also appreciate the gamesmanship of getting a pitcher out of his rhythm. But batters are taking their "me" time too far. They have to adjust the gloves, the pads, the jock, clean the shoes—in any other profession, wouldn't they be seen as having OCD? And it gets worse every year. Now if baseball really wants to pick up the pace, here are a few suggestions:

1) Put radios in the helmets. No more tedious hand signals.

2) Pitchers get one pickoff attempt per runner. (Added benefit: more stolen bases. A lot more.)

3) One cup adjustment per inning.

4) Eliminate Orioles starter Steve Trachsel.

5) Add instant replay. Oh, wait, that would slow the game down even more, wouldn't it?