"But that name!" says Jones. "Just that name, Shaquille O-Neal, lets him get away with a lot of physical things that average players can't."
"Like us," says Dudley.
Meriweather has an idea. "You know how the Pistons are cheap and illegal," he says. "Well, being from Detroit I thought I'd stuff a stun gun into my jock and pull it on Shaquille during the game."
The rest of the Gang thinks it's worth a try.
"Whatever happens," says Dudley, "it won't be near as bad as last year."
"Damn right," says Meriweather. "If we stay within 40, I'd call it a success."
Dec. 28, Northern Arizona
O'Neal doesn't frighten David Wolfe, the Lumberjacks' center. "Not at all," he says. "The Wolfe from Northern Arizona is going to huff and puff and blow the Shaq down." Does he really think he stands a chance? Not by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin.
This big (6'9", 230-pound), bad Wolfe will have to perform a minor miracle. Or maybe a major miracle. The Lumberjacks are rebuilding after a 4-23 year in which they didn't fell many big trees. "I'd be happy if we kept LSU to double digits," he says.
In total points?