SI Vault
 
Heavy Humor
Jack McCallum
November 11, 1991
After the magic drafted Stanley Roberts, the 7-foot former LSU center whose weight has ballooned as high as 315 pounds, Pat Williams, the Orlando president, had a field day telling jokes about him:
Decrease font Decrease font
Enlarge font Enlarge font
November 11, 1991

Heavy Humor

View CoverRead All Articles View This Issue

After the magic drafted Stanley Roberts, the 7-foot former LSU center whose weight has ballooned as high as 315 pounds, Pat Williams, the Orlando president, had a field day telling jokes about him:

"Stanley thinks a balanced meal is a Big Mac in each hand."

"We got him started eating the seven basic food groups, and now there are only three left."

"There's a thin man inside of Stanley—he's ordering a hot fudge sundae."

"Stanley's Florida driver's license says, 'Photo continued on other side.' "

"Whoever said no man is an island never saw Stanley in a swimming pool."

"Stanley's chosen his burial site—Montana."

"We told Stanley to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared."

"Stanley says his two favorite things are eating and watching TV. So we decided to combine the two, and now he's eating out of his satellite dish."

"We have Stanley into heavy lifting, so now he takes his lunch to work."

Continue Story
1 2