Let's Play Milton Bradley!

Texas Rangers outfielder Milton Bradley said Thursday he wanted to "introduce" himself to Kansas City Royals television announcer Ryan Lefebvre after some negative comments made on the air. Bradley stormed up four flights of Kauffman Stadium stairs looking for Lefebvre after the Rangers' 11--5 victory Wednesday night.... Bradley has a history of losing his temper.
—Associated Press, June 12, 2008

CONGRATULATIONS on your purchase of the new Milton Bradley? Milton Bradley board game, where the goal is to be the first to lose all your marbles. (NOTE: Please do not throw marbles at other players, even if you think they've insulted you.)

Up to six people can play, one for each of Bradley's teams during his nine-year career: Montreal Expos, Cleveland Indians, Los Angeles Dodgers, Oakland A's, San Diego Padres and Texas Rangers. Watch for frequent updated editions of Milton Bradley that include his latest team. (A special Japanese version is anticipated by 2012.)

AGES: Old enough to know better.

SETUP: Everything you need to play is in the Milton Bradley Batter's Box, including dice, six marbles per player, fold-out board, game cards and just-for-fun stress-relief ball. Though it may appear that you're missing some of the cards, you're not. Part of the fun of Milton Bradley is that you never play with a full deck!

GAMEPLAY: Players roll the dice—just as teams do when they acquire Bradley!—and move to a square:

1. Be Like Milton.
Draw from the deck and try to guess how Bradley would react in real-life scenarios. Answer correctly and you lose a marble ... and roll again!

Example: You're playing rightfield, and a fan throws a plastic bottle in your direction. Do you: a) remove the bottle, then point security to the fan who might have thrown it? b) pretend to chug the bottle to mock fan drunkenness, then deposit it in the nearest recycling bin? c) spike the bottle at the feet of fans in the stands, then rip off your jersey as if auditioning for the WWE, leading to off-season anger-management therapy? (Answer: c, of course! Bradley did it in 2004.)

2. Know Your Milton.
Pick a card and test your Bradley expertise—with a lost marble on the line. For example, True or False: When an ornery teammate questions Bradley's hustle, Bradley discreetly talks to him about the issue then "hugs it out."

(Answer: False! When this happened in L.A. with Jeff Kent three years ago, Bradley ripped the second baseman to the media, saying Kent couldn't relate to black players. The tension between them lasted until the Dodgers unloaded Bradley after the season.)