All players still on an NBA roster after Jan. 10 get paid for the entire season. This is why Jan. 9 is known around the league as "Dwayne Schintzius Eve."
A game between the 76ers and the Jazz last month was delayed when someone threw a rat on the floor. Which raises the question: Was this someone a fan, or a vendor with bad touch?
EDDIE MURRAY AND GARY CARTER GET ELECTED TO THE HALL OF FAME
Not only that, the writers voted to allow Pete Rose to use the men's bathroom at Cooper-stown Mobil.
The Tigers are moving the left centerfield fence at Comerica Park 25 feet closer to home. Experts believe this will increase home runs by 50. Fifty-two if you count homers by the Tigers.
SENATORS FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY
Desperate fiscal situation in Ottawa. Last week at the Corel Centre they had to pass the hat to raise gas money for the Zamboni.
In other NHL news the Maple Leafs have introduced a "Kids' Night Out with the Leafs" program. Pretty good deal. For $99 you get two tickets, two small sodas, a popcorn and your choice of a face wash from Tie Domi or Darcy Tucker.
ITALIAN COURT ORDERS ALLEGED RUSSIAN MOBSTER WHO WAS AT CENTER OF OLYMPIC FIGURE SKATING SCANDAL EXTRADITED BACK TO U.S.
While he awaits trial, ABC wants him to fix the results of American Idol.
ESPN WILL LAUNCH 24-HOUR ESPN DEPORTES
Which raises the question: What's Spanish for "Boo-yah!"?
My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Brownsville Station.
Bill Scheft is the head monologue writer for the Late Show with David Letterman.