- TOP PLAYERSOffensePABLO S. TORRE | August 20, 2012
- TAMPA BAY buccaneersENEMY lines WHAT A RIVAL COACH SAYSJune 28, 2012
- Faces in the CrowdJune 11, 2001
To gain experience in journalism, it's helpful to interview people from an array of nations, people with every kind of personality and enough people to span the breadth of emotion from abject sorrow to riotous humor. Or...... you can interview Robin Williams for 20 minutes.
Seems like you're becoming a sports addict. Living in the Bay Area, do you go to Oakland Raiders games and sit with the maniacs in the Black Hole?
"I've never had the balls or the medication to do that," Williams says. "If the original Vikings saw those guys, they'd go, [thick Norwegian accent] 'You can't come raping and pillaging with us! Not dressed like that! In your bad mime makeup and nipples pulled out like that! My God, you've even dressed the women and the babies like that?'
"I mean, Raiders fans are in their full war gear and the giant metallic faces—and those are just the vendors! And you see them, the vendors, calling, [peanut-vendor voice] 'Hey, welding here! I got welding! Who wants acetylene? Who needs the acetylene?' "
How about hockey? Ever go to San Jose Sharks games?
"Went the other day for the first time. I couldn't figure out why the players were going on and off the ice so much. I kept asking my friend, 'Is their table ready?' [Friend's disgusted voice] 'No, they're switching lines, you moron!' And I love the fights! They have to take off all their clothes! Pretty soon, you're pleading, 'Get a room, boys!' And they finally get off their pads and suddenly stare into each other's eyes and go, 'Just hold me!'
"Then the refs—after just standing there as the players pummel each other into large blood clots—send them to the little penalty boxes. And they just sit in there and listen to aggression-therapy tapes. [Jack Nicholson voice] 'Now, boys, you gotta stop beatin' the hell out of each other with them sticks!' "
We saw you at World Series games in San Francisco and Anaheim. How'dyou like it?
"Oh, mama, those ThunderStix are hellish, aren't they? They look like a condom that's been badly used! When they pound them all together, it's ridiculous! Even Marlee Matlin is going, 'It's a little loud, don't you think?' "
Did you enjoy the scene in McCovey Cove?