Just My Type

NR: I wouldn't want to make him mad.

You Can Only Hope to Contain It

SETTINGS LIKE
Cleveland's Dawg Pound (above) will test the NFL's new conduct policy for fans issued last week: No abusive language, no verbal harassment of opposing fans—and plenty of other rules that look great on paper. But how do you police this? After all these years (and all those beers), how do you ask fans to crisp their pocket squares? Here's a more realistic solution: Designate some sections "family friendly." This would give parents a sanctuary from the zoo that can't be tamed.

Exchange Rates

DAVID STERN'S drive to globalize basketball may be going a little too well. Last week Earl Boykins signed with an Italian team and Carlos Arroyo left for Israel, following Josh Childress overseas. Fans may see these as acceptable losses, but if the dollar stays weak, the NBA will lose a star someday soon. I see it being a player late in his career. Just as David Beckham came to the U.S. for a last big paycheck, an American star will do the same in Europe. Maybe Kobe Bryant (right) will return to Italy, where he grew up. How much do you think he would be worth in lire—50 billion?

A Kidd Named Pops

ON HIS trip to China, the eldest member of the USA basketball team, by a good five years, hasn't found much respect. Jason Kidd, 35, has not only had to battle Chris Paul and Deron Williams for playing time—during the walk-up games he joked to me that his role on the team was "making sure everyone has enough Gatorade"—and he's also had to endure being referred to as Pops by his teammates. I asked him if that nickname stung a little, and he told me, "It stings a lot. And it definitely stings when they ask me if I was in the '84 Olympics."

THE FINE PRINT: Steelers DT Casey Hampton reported to camp at 350 pounds. He was placed on the Physically Unable to Have a Salad list.

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