Just My Type

SO: Yes, T.J. Hooker was Number 1, and Number 2 was MacGyver.

DP: But MacGyver wasn't really a police officer, was he?

SO: I'm not sure what he was. Was he a cop, was he a special agent?

DP: All I know is I could put MacGyver on the Atlanta Hawks, and he would somehow make them good.

SO: Yes, he would.

Victims of Success

IT'S BECOMING the most dangerous play in sports: the celebration. After Texas Tech knocked off Texas, Red Raiders QB Graham Harrell's roommate did the one thing the Longhorns D couldn't: put a hard hit on him. "He had a running start, and I didn't have my guard up," said Harrell, who was about to throw a punch until he realized it was his buddy on his back. And last Friday Brad Lidge described the horror of being dropped by Ryan Howard, who took him down following the final out of the World Series with a hit Roger Goodell probably would have fined him for. Of course being crushed in a pile is better than the alternative. "My knee was bent over the back of my head at some point," said Lidge, "but it was the best I've ever felt."

Off the Hook

IT WASN'T quite Joe Namath before Super Bowl III, but last week wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh vowed that the Bengals would win a game—any game—promising to walk the 27 miles from his house in Cerritos, Calif., to the NFL Network Studios in Culver City if they went 0--16. "If that's the case, I'll put on my walking shoes and get to trottin'," he told me. T.J. got his guaranteed win on Sunday: Cincinnati beat Jacksonville 21--19. Good for him. He doesn't need that hanging over his head. After all, the Bengals are known for off-the-field trouble, and isn't walking against the law in L.A.?

Mad Men