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The Crystal Golf Ball
KEVIN COOK
December 16, 2008
From a cloister in the Time & Life Building, we foresee next year's top stories in golf and foretell the headlines of 2009. Behold our fearless forecast!
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December 16, 2008

The Crystal Golf Ball

From a cloister in the Time & Life Building, we foresee next year's top stories in golf and foretell the headlines of 2009. Behold our fearless forecast!

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OBAMA TABS AZINGER ...

... as Secretary of Homeland Security, while Boo Weekley joins the Broadway cast of Wicked.

THE TOUR SHRINKS ...

... as sponsors cut back or go bankrupt. New events like the FreeCreditReport.com Classic and the Family Dollar Open lead to the season-ending Spam Cup.

LPGA MOVES TO KOREA ...

... and Supreme Leader Carolyn Bivens announces that by 2010 all players must speak Korean.

JOHNNY MILLER GOES BALLISTIC ...

... when Roger Maltbie says a putt "breaks the other way, Johnny." Miller curses Maltbie and storms out of the booth.

JOHN DALY DOUBLES UP ...

... after a member of his posse found him wide-eyed drunk in a Hooters parking lot in 2008. ("When I'm stressed, I sleep with my eyes open," Daly said.) Big John turns his life around and wins the British Open—his second claret jug—by learning to drink with his mouth closed.

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