Just My Type

DP: Your bio on IMDB says, "Failed to join the Cincinnati Reds."

GC: "Failed to get past the first cut," I believe, would be the better phrase. Or "Lacked skill." It was a minor league pitcher throwing moderate speed curveballs, and I'm stepping in the bucket. Just a nightmare.

Bruce Jenner (Aug. 25)

DP: Is Michael Phelps the world's greatest athlete?

BJ: No. He's the world's greatest swimmer.

DP: If I said, Let me train Kobe or Jordan to be a decathlete....

BJ: They'd die. They couldn't do it. They'd train eight hours a day in virtual isolation, there'd be no hype, no nothing.

Fancy Ways to Break the Plane

THE SANTONIO HOLMES did-he-or-didn't-he controversy at the end of the Ravens-Steelers game in Week 15 shows that football is no longer a game of inches; it's a game of pixels. But sometimes TV replay isn't good enough. Here are a few potential improvements for goal line technology:
? PYLON CAM The best angle possible.
? A SENSOR IN THE BALL Adidas developed a soccer ball with a microchip, but FIFA inexplicably won't use it.
? GPS-ENABLED BALL Bonus: Take the ball to a pickup game, and you'll never get lost on the way home.
? AN ELECTRIC DOG FENCE on the goal line. Might have trouble getting the players' association to sign off on it.
? EXPLODING DYE PACKS If they can make a dye pack explode when it leaves a bank, they can make it explode when it enters the end zone.

Jocks and Awe