—Oct. 10, 2005
A man who pleaded guilty to charges of robbery and intent to kill asked to have three years added to his 30-year sentence so his prison term would match Larry Bird's jersey number.
—Oct. 31, 2005
To FHM, on why he doesn't go to the gym: "They won't let me smoke in there."
—March 20, 2006
A pin position at the rain-delayed PGA Memorial Tournament had to be changed because someone had defecated in the cup during the night.
—June 12, 2006
Giants running back, upon hearing that Terrell Owens was writing a children's book called Little T Learns to Share: "He may be drawing on someone else's experiences."