Who's Hot Who's Not

KILLJOY RULE MAKERS

What in the name of Principal Skinner? The NCAA wants to ban personalized eye black on football players and penalize taunting by nullifying touchdowns. The fun police are also out in force in Italy, where Serie A has sworn off swearing in soccer, even allowing TV reviews of alleged offenses.

CROSS PROMOTION

A forced Vancouver plug during The Office on NBC seemed low, even for Michael Scott—but not as undignified as TNT's 15-minute booking of the D-list star McLovin', who pushed his movie Kick-Ass during NBA All-Star pregame. As Charles Barkley would say: Trrrible.

DESPERATE MAN AT UNC

Only twice in the past 45 years have the Tar Heels finished in the ACC's bottom half. But that's where they were last week after a loss to rival Duke. North Carolina's play had coach Roy Williams unfortunately comparing his team's woes with those of earthquake victims in Haiti.

HURTIN' HUSKIES

UConn is 1--5 since toppling then No. 1 Texas on Jan. 23, and the team wasn't even buoyed by the Saturday return from sick leave of coach Jim Calhoun (left), who called a 60--48 loss to Cincinnati "one of the worst performances" of his 24 years.