- TOP PLAYERSOffensePABLO S. TORRE | August 20, 2012
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Next Year, Bottled Bronx Air That Could Have Been Exhaled By Derek Jeter
The New York Yankees announced the sale of dirt used at the old stadium. The coin-shaped mementos sell for $80 each.
With That, Another Royals Season Had Just Begun
In the first inning of the season Zack Greinke of the Royals got a batter to hit a pop-up over the pitcher's mound. "It was hit so high," he said, "I was like, There's no way I'm catching this ball. I turned around, and no one was even close to it. And I was like, Where the heck is everyone?"
As He Understood Scripture, It Spoke Strongly on the Power of Whoopass
Evander Holyfield's wife said in court papers that the former heavyweight boxing champ had hit her in the face, in the back of the head and on the back for not giving to their church.
After Nine Innings of Flailing, The Team Had a Cynical Thought
Soon after the Marlins endured a perfect game by Phillies righthander Roy Halladay, the team announced it would offer for sale the 11,000 tickets that had gone unsold for those wishing to invest in souvenirs of the event.
He Was Always So Tiresome On the Subject of Ball Control
Two-time Super Bowl--winning coach Jimmy Johnson began pitching ExtenZe penile-enhancement products. Johnson's tagline: "Go long with ExtenZe. I do."