How to Get Back in Your Coach's Good Graces, Steps 1--4
After Leonard Young was kicked off Fresno Pacific's basketball team in November, the freshman went on a rampage: He allegedly tore up his own apartment; ran naked in the streets, pounding on windows of stores and cars; assaulted two women; and eventually commandeered a police car. Young was eventually controlled by three purposeful Taser zaps.
His Contributions to the Game Being Considered Somewhat Nebulous and All
A six-foot statue of Michael Jackson was unveiled outside the stadium of the English soccer team Fulham, drawing a less than enthusiastic response from club backers. Team owner Mohamed Al Fayed, a Jackson devotee, on encountering criticism of the monument, said, "If ... fans don't understand ... they can go to hell."
His Cup: Runnethed Over
Real Madrid waited 18 years to win back the Copa del Rey trophy and succeeded in April by beating Barcelona. Afterward, Madrid's Sergio Ramos, standing atop a bus that drove through city streets in celebration, allowed the silver cup to fall from his grasp, whereupon it was flattened under the bus's wheels.
Another High Note for Bills Fans
In an Ontario radio station's contest for tickets to a Bills-Redskins game in Toronto, five fans were selected to sort through a kiddie pool full of fresh buffalo dung for tickets hidden in the muck, which was emanating such a hellacious stench that the master of ceremonies was heard to gag repeatedly. One Bills follower continued searching after the tickets were found, presumably in the hope that organizers might have erred and put two sets of tickets into the mix.
Still Deploring Our Great Sport's Unfortunate Incidents of Violence
The NHL investigated a summer promotion in which the Islanders invited fans to a bar to watch a rebroadcast of the team's Feb. 11 game against the Penguins, which produced 346 penalty minutes, 15 fights, 23 game suspensions and $100,000 in fines.