SI Vault
 
Oh, Brother
May 14, 2012
Peyton Manning has one Super Bowl ring; Eli Manning has two. On-field advantage: Eli. But how do the brothers stack up off the gridiron? The younger Manning's appearance last weekend on Saturday Night Live—five years after Peyton's—provided one measure of the men
Decrease font Decrease font
Enlarge font Enlarge font
May 14, 2012

Oh, Brother

View CoverRead All Articles
  PEYTON ELI
MONOLOGUE MANNER Self-deprecation. Asked, "What do Tom Brady and the circus have in common? They both have two more rings than [I] do." Played dumb and cocky, deadpanning, "After two Super Bowls, this is definitely the third most exciting night of my life." [check]
SUPPORT STAFF Brought along brothers Eli and Cooper, dad, Archie, and mom, Olivia, kidding, "She never made it to the NFL. She's a real disappointment." [check] Accompanied by wife, Abby, and four Giants offensive linemen, who he joked were "even in the room... when our daughter was born."
STAGE PRESENCE Monologue lasted 2:53. Appeared in eight of 11 skits—two as himself—with 108 lines. [check] Monlogue lasted 3:34. Appeared in eight of 10 skits—two as himself—with 93 lines. [check]
COSTUMES AND MAKEUP Wore three wigs, one bald cap with monster makeup and one zookeeper's outfit. Doffed his pants in an ad for a toilet-equipped Mercedes. Squeezed into a Lycra suit and wore three wigs, one of them—as a cross-dresser named Miss Chicken- Fried Steak—with a dress, boa and heels. [check]
META MOMENTS As himself, barked "You suck!" at children in a United Way ad; sat idly as castmates described "pulling a Manning" (i.e., choking). [check] Mocked Tebowing and his own sibling rivalry, locking a child in a trunk and barking, "Maybe now you'll treat your younger brother with respect, Peyton!"
DANCE MOVES Air-guitared his own leg while cutting a rug to Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. [check] Concocted an end zone dance in which he mimed making a sandwich.
BEST LINE Sipping coffee: "I walked around with a piece of sliced ham in my pants for the past couple days just to have my own secret." [check] As a Swedish Eli: [Feigning Swedish] "Dorfen-flugen, flugen-flagen, championship herky-gerky-dorfen, football dorfen-flugen... Meatballs."
BEST SKIT His United Way ad flipped the public's idea of the squeaky-clean QB on its head ("Spend time with your kids—so Peyton Manning doesn't") and set the gold standard for athlete hosts. [check] His embodiment of a creepy text-messager on trial was a rare highlight, capped by his face-contorting interpretation of the emoticon ;P.

Peyton Manning has one Super Bowl ring; Eli Manning has two. On-field advantage: Eli. But how do the brothers stack up off the gridiron? The younger Manning's appearance last weekend on Saturday Night Live—five years after Peyton's—provided one measure of the men

[This article contains a table. Please see hardcopy of magazine or PDF.]

1