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The Boy They Couldn't Kill
THOMAS LAKE
September 17, 2012
Thirteen years ago, NFL receiver Rae Carruth conspired to kill his pregnant girlfriend and their unborn son. The child has not only survived but thrived—thanks to the unwavering love of his grandmother
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September 17, 2012

The Boy They Couldn't Kill

Thirteen years ago, NFL receiver Rae Carruth conspired to kill his pregnant girlfriend and their unborn son. The child has not only survived but thrived—thanks to the unwavering love of his grandmother

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There is a long silence.

"After what you've lost," you say.

"Like I say," she says, "you can focus on what you've lost or what you have left. So I didn't lose. I have my grandson. I have my daughter with me in my heart, always. I have her with me through Lee. So I don't focus on loss. I mean, I think she's in Heaven, with God, so that's definitely not a loss. So I've got a lot left, and a lot of hope left, and a lot to live for, and to be able to help my grandson to become the wonderful man he's meant to be. I haven't lost anything.

"Really, I've gained. I've been pushed into my role and destiny."

It's coming, this meeting of father and son. Saundra will not try to stop it. She is not afraid of him. When Rae Carruth brings his story she will be there too.

Lee will have grown a lot by then. He will probably be taller than his father. And so, if they stand face-to-face, Rae will have to look up at him, into a mirror, at his own face, and into the eyes of the woman he put to death, and into the eyes of a third creature, a man, not a boy, with that gaze of pure white flame, and these three people will almost certainly ask him a question. It is Lee's favorite question. He asks it all the time, about almost everything. He asked it in T.G.I. Friday's and he asked it in the church gymnasium. And now the man who would not be killed will look at the man who could not kill him, and he will ask it one more time:

Why?

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