'Roid Where Prohibited by Law

Good to be here. Yes, I checked my dictionary three times. "Unknowingly" is a word.

Barry Bonds told the BALCO grand jury he thought the steroid cream his trainer Greg Anderson gave him was for his arthritis. I believe that, and I believe he developed the arthritis ice-fishing with Scott Peterson.

Elsewhere, the Yankees reportedly owe New York City $3.6 million in back rent. And another million for Jason Giambi's urine cleaning deposit.

This is serious. If the Yankees don't settle up the amount in arrears by Jan. 1, the city could repossess Paul Quantrill

The BCS selection show was sponsored by Outback Steakhouse. Wait a minute. I thought at Outback, it's your choice of sides.

Nebraska finished 5-6, its worst record in 43 years and the first time it won't be going to a bowl since 1968. Makes you long for the glory days of the Frank Solich Era.

Cleveland was in the game until Butch Davis showed up just before the opening kickoff and resigned again.

Did you see this item in the injury report this week? GIANTS -- Questionable: DT Norman Hand (groin). Hand (groin). Technically, doesn't this break the doctor-patient confidentiality?

All future opening sketches for Monday Night Football must be approved by ABC's censors. And four guys on Levitra

He wants to make the area behind both benches a Dis-Free Zone.