TV Commentator Rankings

Al Michaels and John Madden, NBC
The only thing I ever had against this team was that their attention span would occasionally flag if a game were dull, and they'd get away from it and onto topics of the day. Someone must have had a talk with them at NBC because that hasn't seemed to be a problem anymore. And as I've written before about Sunday night's increased technical equipment, it makes for more comfortable watching, all around. John still has the pipelines to feed him the cogent observation, such as noting that "the Patriots' defense is set up not to let you complete passes outside ... you have to go inside." And he can still bring it when the mood seizes him. On the running style of the Jaguars' tiny Maurice Jones-Drew -- "He can run straight up and still get low."

NFL Network crew: Cris Collinsworth, Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Tom Hammond, Bryant Gumbel
A mixed bag. When Deion and Faulk did Cincinnati San Francisco in Week 15, I was stunned by their insight. I mean, they were giving us stuff such as: Deion on Chad Johnson -- "Any time Chad's in the slot, he's not going deep." Faulk on Johnson vs. T.O. -- "T.O.'s always looking to score, Chad's looking to fall down, after he runs a slant." I mean it was a clinic, a scouting report. Then I thought it through. This is the league's network. It's in its best interest if its broadcast team remained informed. Either Cincy coach Marvin Lewis briefed the boys on the ins and outs of his personnel, or some scout did, because I just don't believe these two announcers would figure this stuff out on their own. Their stuff only served to render more inane Steve Mariucci's comments that followed, during the break. But if they can provide enlightenment, why knock it, no matter where it comes from.

I've also heard them when their scouting report might not have been as incisive, or maybe they hadn't been paying as close attention to it. Deion made a big point of a delay penalty, coming out of a timeout, in the Steelers-Rams game. No, the penalty was motion. "Just put it up and give your receiver a chance," he advises Big Ben, even though his receiver, Santonio Holmes, was tightly covered. Then a mysterious rip of Rams coach Scott Linehan-- "When all is said and done, Scott, just think about that third and short. He should have gone for it" (It was fourth and six). At other times Deion is just silly, usually when he lets his monumental ego take over.

Collinsworth impressed me last year with his attempt to get into a bit of the line play. This season, it became an afterthought. And one test, at least for me, is whether or not the team can carry on with some semblance of coherence when the game is either meaningless or a blowout. Both Cris and Gumbel flunked on that score when they ditched Colts-Falcons early and went through stretches when they failed to announce whole series. Even ESPN, during one of those maddening guest-in-the-booth horror shows, wasn't as bad. But when he's into a big game, Collinsworth can present a clear overview, which is almost like damning with faint praise.

Hammond, a smooth old pro, filled in when Gumbel went on injured reserve for a Houston-Denver Thursday nighter. Comfortable to listen to, with very little insight provided, but then again, we shouldn't expect that from a play-by-play man. OK, I'll tell you the best thing about the league's network. They give us the national anthems, a great upper for an eccentric such as myself, who times them all.

Dick Stockton and Brian Baldinger, Fox
Down a star from last year. Baldy used to be one of the best, but he has come down with a severe case of talkitis. It's tough to shut him up, and working with one of the most modest and polite people in the business only spurs him on. Which wouldn't be so bad, except that stuff gets missed. Minnesota-Green Bay in Week 10 -- can't run the middle because the Vikes' two DT's are so good, sez BB. But Green Bay is doing just that and both Williamses are getting blocked. And then the Packers load up in their full house, with two fullbacks, and pick up seven, but there's no mention of this because our man just isn't paying attention. Ruvell Martin beats rookie corner Marcus McCauley for 25. "Found the soft spot in the zone," Baldy tells us. Uh, no, Favre was just working on a weak sister, who got killed, once again, in man coverage. The sad thing is that Baldinger is one of the most knowledgeable and insightful people in the business, when he's on his game and especially when he's telling us what happened up front. But less of the yack yack, please, and more attention paid.

Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon, CBS
I'll say it again. Any game Harlan works will get a good grade because he and Rosen are my favorite play-by-play guys. Remember in the old movie, Gunga Din, when the guru is getting the Thuggee insurrection going, and Sam Jaffe tells Cary Grant, "The Colonel's got to know?" Well, that's the theme of Rosen and Harlan: "The viewers have to know," and so they tell us who's on the field and who comes in for whom in the various packages, and proper down and distance and everything else that makes watching a game so comfortable. But I've written this every year. Gannon is good when he discusses pass patterns and quarterbacking, but please, lighten up on those pronouncements. "This game will be won in the trenches." ... "You can't begin a drive with a sack because it puts you in a tough spot, down and distance." ... "This is a tough spot to be in" (Titans down, 28-13, with 4:47 left).

Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf, CBS
One Sunday, after watching tapes all morning, I tuned in to this team doing San Diego-Tennessee, and I got this strange feeling listening to Big Dan, a sense of actual warmth, like meeting an old friend. It was an odd occurrence, indeed, for a grump such as myself, but then Gumbel came on and my usual sour nature was restored. Dan seemed to be more jolly this season, more comfortable, but his partner had regressed. He will neglect plays completely, every now and then, which I've always felt is the ultimate insult to the contest you're covering. And he's one of the leading practitioners of the "He's got to get untracked," school of broadcasting, which, of course, is pure nonsense. Untracked ... off the track ... right? So I raised them half a star from last year's miserly deuce, but that's as far as I can go.

Jim Nantz and Phil Simms, CBS
Well, Phil used to be a friend, but I'm sure he thinks I'm the worst kind of traitor during the past few years because, as his star had risen to the top of the network's roster, his ability to tell me stuff I don't know has not progressed. Which is a long way of saying that, whereas he'll provide a good sense of excitement when he's doing a significant game, he has fallen into clich� patterns that don't help.

The worst is the search for the eternal "story line," a favorite device of production people but something I've always felt is a deadly trap. "Here's the story line," we hear at the top of the show, or "among the many story lines," etc. No, the story line is what develops from the game itself, and as an old handicapper, I can tell you that most of the time it differs from preconceived notions. So why bother with it at all? Why get locked into such a static device, instead of merely letting the game take its course?