Rosey on Lions

My fascination with the Detroit Lions and their quest for 0-16 knows no limits. It probably says a lot about me that I did not have one-tenth the same interest level when the Patriots were on their 16-0 crusade a year ago. I guess I've always had a pretty good outsider sense of 16-0 -- why it's so hard to do, what kind of luck and determination it takes to get there, what it means.

But 0-16 -- that's a whole other thing. Anyone who watches the NFL closely realizes that there are plenty of lousy teams in this league, and there are many, many more teams that CAN BE lousy on any given week. It seems to me that to go winless in this environment takes something more than awfulness.

1. It takes an ability to descend to the occasion*.

*The Lions have played four teams with losing records and, except for their relatively game effort against Houston, they have not come even close to winning any of those:

Green Bay (5-10): Lost 45-28
San Francisco (6-9): Lost 31-13
Houston (7-8): Lost 28-21
Jacksonville (5-10): Lost 38-14

2. It takes an ability to pull off remarkable, almost mystical, feats of horridness.*

*I think the Lions loss that tops them all was against Tampa Bay; Detroit led 17-0 at the end of the first quarter. This was at home. This was against a Bucs team that had had trouble scoring point all year. Of course, the Lions were losing by halftime, and the game was way out of reach before the end of the third quarter. ... Of course falling behind 35-3 to the Tennessee Titans in the second quarter on Thanksgiving Day was one for the ages too.

3. It takes a high level of comic chaos.*

*So, in one year the Lions FINALLY fired Matt Millen as general manager, but they kept on their head coach who will probably be best remembered as the guy who got offended when someone asked him if he wished his daughter would have married a better defensive coordinator. Their most outspoken player has been their kicker, Jason Hanson, who is having a remarkable season (the guy is 8-for-8 beyond 50 yards) -- how do you go 0-16 when you have a kicker that good? Five different quarterbacks have thrown passes this year including one guy who retired ( Daunte Culpepper), one guy who probably should have retired ( Jon Kitna) and two guys named Drew**

**Not many people made it all the way to the end of that Thanksgiving Day game, but if you did make it you got the treat of watching Drew Henson throw two passes. Yes, THAT Drew Henson. It was wild to see him, a beautiful blast from the past, sort of like seeing Dwayne from What's Happening in a major motion picture or hearing a new The Dream Academy song on the radio. Funny thing is I mentioned this to three or four friends, and they all had the same reaction: "No, that wasn't Drew Henson, it was Drew Stanton, the kid from Michigan State." And I was like, um, no, it really was Drew Henson. But they had me so unnerved that I actually went back to the boxscore. Twice. And, of course, it WAS Drew Henson. I didn't dream it.