Kiffin and Meyer finally meet, but fireworks are nowhere to be found

DESTIN, Fla. -- Grasshopper, meet the master.

As five SEC football coaches -- Tennessee's Lane Kiffin, South Carolina's Steve Spurrier, Kentucky's Rich Brooks, Arkansas' Bobby Petrino and Auburn's Gene Chizik -- waited for an elevator Tuesday after a four-hour pow-wow at the SEC's spring meetings, a handful of reporters quizzed Spurrier about the proceedings. Were there fireworks between Kiffin and Florida's Urban Meyer, whom Kiffin accused on Feb. 5 of breaking a non-existent NCAA rule? (Answer: No.) Were there any new rules suggested? ("Some of these schools have too much time in the summer," Spurrier joked. Did Spurrier feel he owed Kiffin an apology for accusing the first-year volunteers coach for his December comments about Kiffin calling recruits before being announced as head coach?

Spurrier sighed, slumped his shoulders and turned on his heel. He walked a few feet to Kiffin, whose face reddened. "I didn't accuse you of cheating," said the man who coined the phrase "Free Shoes University" and who once reminded everyone that you can't spell Citrus without U-T. Then Spurrier explained the misunderstanding that produced those comments. That explanation lasted past the moment the doors shut. The only coach on board with a national title on his resume was still talking.

Before you get too titillated, this wasn't a fight. Not even close. Most of the folks standing around were snickering. The exchange just proved once again that in the SEC, the fun never stops. It's too bad Commissioner Mike Slive will implore Wednesday that his coaches quit yapping. When he does, Slive probably will stare directly at Kiffin, the young ingénue, and Spurrier, the wily veteran. He will tell them to keep the focus on the conference's fabulous brand of football. Unfortunately, even in the era of the 24-hour news cycle, fabulous football doesn't move the meter during the offseason doldrums.

Kiffin's spring has proven that the league is a lot more interesting when it has a provocateur. And while reporters like the idiot you're reading now may have written off Kiffin as in over his head after the Meyer incident, Kiffin basically admitted Tuesday that much of his bluster was calculated.

And it worked.

Without playing a down, Kiffin has made Tennessee the most talked-about program in the country. For a guy who must scour the country to populate a program to compete with the juggernauts at Alabama, Florida, Georgia and LSU, publicity is crucial. And during the buildup Tuesday to the anticlimactic meeting between himself and Meyer in the Sandpiper C meeting room, Kiffin grabbed a little more.

At the 27-minute mark of pre-meeting interview session Kiffin finally cracked. "I did ask for adjoining rooms with Coach Meyer," he said.

Gentlemen, start your headlines.

Of course Kiffin kidded. He had to spend hours seated at the same table with Meyer. He didn't need Meyer popping his head into the room asking if Kiffin wanted to see his national championship rings. We lapped it up anyway. Within hours, a Google News search of the phrase "adjoining rooms" produced 65 stories that mentioned Tennessee -- right at the top of the page.