An ocean of empty seats in Paris, Serena's mockery and more mail

While marveling that Dinara Safin has dropped four games in three matches....

Can we all agree that the french (intentional lack of capitalization) fans at Roland Garros are amongst the most ignorant and boorish fans in all the world? These are fans who boo people for requesting that the chair umpire come check the lines (heaven forbid, check the lines on clay). Their treatment of players like Sharapova (last year), the Williams sisters (every year) is just appalling. Players have to continually adjust their playing styles in order not to excite the ever ready boos and jeers of the fans in Lenglen or Chatrier. I think we would agree that the French Open would be much more pleasant to watch if we could fill the stands with fans from, let's say, North Carolina?
-- George Ellis, Cincinnati

• Yeah, those decorous fans from North Carolina. That's exactly what we need.

Honestly, I can't work up much outrage here. To generalize, the French fans are too quick to boo and whistle. (I like it when they boo players requesting the chair to check a mark; then, even when the player is right and the ball was called incorrectly, they continue booing.) Still, it strikes me as harmless. They're not rioting. They're not throwing stale baguettes at the athletes. They're not doing the wave, which ceased to be voguish in 1987. Oh wait, scratch that last one. But they just want to be part of the show.

My beef (or beouf?) has to do with the spotty attendance. The French Federation reports that ticket sales are brisk. (And revenues are sufficient to build a roof over the stadium.) Yet when the cameras pan the crowds, there are oceans of empty seats. We're talking a few hundred fans in the stadium, even when big-name players are on the court. Rush Limbaugh would draw a bigger crowd at Vassar. Not sure what's going on here, but it looks terrible on television.

Just to try to get a laugh, my nickname submittals (a few of them may be a bit arcane):

ATP

Gael "Storm" Monfils
Jo-Wilfried "Singa the" Tsonga
"Can You Hear the Drums?" Fernando Gonzales
Jurgen "Lotion" Melzer
Julien "United Colors of" Benneteau
Nicolas Devilder "Is in DeDetails"

WTA

Maria "Swords into Plow" Sharapova
Alisa "Feet of" Kleybanova
Iveta "United Colors of" Benesova
Daniela "Gotta" Hantuchova
Anna-Lena Groenfeld "Of Dreams"
Alla "Girls Like to Dance But Only Some of the Boys Do" Kudryavtseva
-- Michael Chacon, Santa Fe, N.M.