December 11, 1978 | Volume 49, Issue 24

Every stand-up TV comedian has used the obit gag, the one where you don't get out of bed until you're sure your name isn't on the newspaper obituary page. With each passing year, I find myself...

(Writer's note: The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent—namely, me. Besides, there is a certain amount of honor among poker players, even those who call home to say they...

PRO BASKETBALL—In a matchup of the NBA's two hottest teams, Kansas City edged the Bullets 110-109 in Washington (page 30). Otis Birdsong's 30 points and rookie Phil Ford's floor play led the Kings...

26—Peter Read Miller (bottom left), Heinz Kluetmeier (2)27, 29—Heinz Kluetmeier69—Mike Maple60—Eric Schweikardt70—Stephanie Maze73—Anthony Donna84—Hank deLespinasse88—James Drake119—Jet Commercial...

TODD BUCHANANNORTH LIBERTY, IOWATodd, 16, won the United Professional Horsemen's Association saddle-seat equitation challenge cup class in Kansas City to become the first male to take the title....

Music may have "charms to soothe the savage beast," but in his latest album, Common Ground (A&M Records, Inc., $7.98), saxophonist Paul Winter has turned the old saying around. It is the...

Sir:Super college basketball issue (Nov. 27)! Please don't leave me in suspense, though. Did Earvin Johnson make the cover shot?BRIAN J. FAHEYChicago

It only takes a few minutes of conversation with James L. Cox to understand why this crew-cut ex-boxer and one-time member of the Junior Davis Cup squad has turned himself into a corporation....

BIG RED MACHINATIONS

•Sam Rutigliano, Cleveland Browns coach, on how to stop Seattle's scrambling quarterback, Jim Zorn: "Well, you could give your outside linebackers hand grenades."

In Eclipse for the last six years, the U.S. Davis Cup team meets the British in Palm Springs with every expectation of success. Frank Deford reports on the play of Brian Gottfried, Stan Smith, Bob...

Christmas is still to come, but in Kansas City they're already decking the hall for rookie Phil Ford, who has made the team a winner

The return of Evansville's great love, basketball, alleviated the grief the city had suffered since its team perished in an air crash

Time was when skiing's hotshots would show up with racing stripes on a pair of stretch pants, hoping to be mistaken for Billy Kidd or Jean-Claude Killy. It turns out that was just the beginning....

If there is anything that upsets John Zimmerman, it is an interruption when he has the perfect ski photograph in sharp focus, speed and F-stop all set, his finger about to click the shutter....

At the start of Monday football evenings, radio and television represent the difference between lively conversation after a good dinner and the sounds of carnival barkers. On the CBS Radio...

With erstwhile non-scoring Center Rosie Bouie now taking a hand in the offense, Syracuse overpowered upstart Iona 89-76 to reaffirm its supremacy in the East

WEST

CLIFF ROBINSON: Putting on 20 pounds since last season-he now weighs 220-did not slow down USC's 6'9" sophomore, who had 49 points and 26 rebounds as the Trojans beat Houston 88-80 and Utah 70-56.

There were close calls but no upheavals as traditional rivals did battle and the final few bowl berths were decided

This year's sleeper among the slew of books that always come out at Christmastime for the active, sports-minded reader is The Illustrated History of the T Shirt (Chatterton & Irving, $15.95)...

Mixed team golf produced good cheer as Hinkle and Bradley won a squeaker

Wayne Gretzky, 17, can't drink beer legally with his Edmonton Oiler teammates, but the youngest major leaguer is playing with the flair and finesse of an old pro

The Eagles' 6'8" Harold Carmichael has caught a pass in 94 straight games